Rooted in Mississippi

I am back in Jackson and trying to catch up on my life.  It is amazing how much can fall through the cracks when you spend so much time away from home, especially with extremely limited internet access!  If I owe you a response or something needs my attention, you might want to remind me about it.

My mom’s leg is healing, but her memory is not.  Her short term memory is terrible, but even her long term memory is going. I am most worried that she can not seem to remember the safety protocols for using a wheelchair and walker.  Her chances of falling again seem pretty high, when she can not seem to remember to set the brake on her wheelchair and she gets around unassisted, even when she knows she should not.  I am guessing that I will have to go back for extended visits in June, when she gets released from rehab and moves to my brother’s home.

Anyway, thanks for all the kind comments.  I am trying to get my bearings before I have to leave again!

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Rudy came with me and has been a perfect gentleman.  He has not had a single accident nor acted up even when I had to tote him around in the baby sling.  I was surprised by how well he handled the long drive.  Everyone has been impressed with how well behaved he is at the home.  I did buy him a little dog bed this morning, so he can sleep comfortably when we are sitting around my mom’s room for hours at a time.

I have been taking him with me everywhere, which is why I have not eaten at Goldberg’s or Ippolitto’s this trip, but maybe all the cereal and the occasional chick-fil-a sandwich will help me lose a little weight!

Oh, and the big news!!!1  I managed to get CQMagOnline up and running before the April 25th deadline!  Despite server trouble and slow dial-up, I think I got all of the last minute articles and edits done on time.  Thanks to everyone for all of their help!

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I am starting to feel more normal, probably because I am back on a schedule.  I am eating more normally, going to belly dance classes and I have been to yoga three times this week!  All indications are that my mom is settling into a schedule too, but my sister has to go home to California this weekend.  I talked to my oldest brother today and it looks like I am going to return to Atlanta on Monday.  I will definitely need to leave early if I am going to be there for her two week evaluation.

This time, I think it will be easier for everyone.

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I am finally home and trying to catch up on my life.  I have been playing with dogs, editing CQMagOnline, working on my taxes, cooking food, running errands and all of those other things that were put on the back burner when I drove to Atlanta two weeks ago. I have talked to mom on the phone and will continue to call her every day.  She seems a little more oriented, which is a good sign, but she admits freely that she keeps forgetting that she has a broken leg.  My brothers and Janice are still going to visit her daily and I will have to talk to them a little later in the week about when I should come back.

We were very lucky not to have any serious damage from the tornadoes that hit Jackson while I was gone.  Once again, I think our timing with trimming trees, specifically removing an old dying oak, saved our bacon.  Even so, I spent a couple of hours dragging limbs to the curb.  The city is supposed to come around and haul off storm debris at some point.

When I drove in to the subdivision, I could immediately see why it took so long to restore power, there is debris everywhere; downed power lines and broken poles line the street. After lunch yesterday, my husband drove me around to see more of the damage in town.  It was pretty severe in places.  No wonder Princess spent most of the day hiding in my closet!  She must have sensed the bad weather coming.  I think her Katrina experience has made her even more sensitive than the other dogs.

Speaking of the dogs, they were so happy to see me.  Everyone had their turn saying hello and getting a snuggle.  Princess was slower to respond, but in the middle of the night, she crawled onto my chest and started licking my chin, forcing me to pet her for a long time before we could go back to sleep.  Maybe when things start to wind down again, I can take some more pictures of my babies.

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Mom is in a rehab facility and she has had some very rocky moments.  One night she was confused and thought she was somewhere else, got out of bed and walked unaided to the nurse’s station on her broken leg.  The irony there is that she can not seem to walk even a few steps in physical therapy with the walker!

I have to get back to Jackson to file taxes and try to find time to work on CQMagOnline.  I might have to find an alternative for high speed access while I am on the road, since there is just no way to do it efficiently with dial-up, plus I am tying up the phone line when someone might need to reach us.  It is sort of a no win situation, which is why I have been off-line since leaving the hospital where they provided wireless.

I did learn that if I bring one of my dogs with me when I come back that I can use the baby sling to take them into the rehab to visit mom and the other people in the Jewish home.  I just think the trip would be easier, especially when I am staying in Atlanta alone, if I have at least one of the babies with me.

Anyway, thanks for the positive thoughts and prayers.  We have had a very rough time of things for the last eleven days.  I just keep thinking it has to get better.

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Mom’s general health has improved enough that she will probably get to go to the rehab hospital on Monday, but her overall progress has been excruciatingly slow. She is sleeping a lot. Thankfully she is increasingly lucid, if not awake, which is a very good thing indeed. Unless the situation changes drastically when she gets to rehab, this is going to be a long, drawn out process.

My sisters are getting even less sleep than I am, because I am the only one going to mom’s at night on a fairly regular basis. The one really good thing about rehab is that mom will be in a semi-private room and we will not be allowed to spend as much time there. Which will give all of us a chance to recuperate a little, which we will need to do if we are going to be here for the long haul.

Yesterday, when I walked up to the hospital entrance, my sisters stopped me from going in and took me to the mall with them. At that point, I was delirious and exhausted. It took a giant coffee to get me going, but I was in no shape for shopping. I did end up buying a track suit at Target, because I needed a jacket…it is surprisingly cool in Atlanta. When I tried on the pants last night, they were way to big and I will have to take them back. I guess it is good news that the XL was way too L, so I should not be complaining! The bad news is that I am losing it all from the hips down and my muffin top is as big as ever.

My sisters have been binging on food since they got here, but I have been running at a serious calorie deficit. I have been eating very little and making good choices when I do eat, except for the night we got burgers delivered to mom’s condo. I have also been drinking a lot more coffee than at home and getting a lot less exercise. I did bring “The Heartbeat of Belly Dance” which is one of my favorite videos, but I have not really found a chance to dance or even do the shimmy drills. Maybe I will once mom goes to rehab.

Back home, I hear that the storms did not damage the house, but my husband has been without power since Friday and Entergy says it will be out until Tuesday. Post Katrina, we have had a lot of trouble with the power. I am just sick that we lost everything in the deep freezer and refrigerator yet again, but that beats losing the roof! Maybe this will be the tipping point and we will finally get a generator for the house.

I hope that is a sufficient update for now.  I hope to be checking in again soon.

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This is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. There were times when she wanted to get out of the bed and go home and was very angry at us for not letting her get out of bed on her broken leg. She told me that I was horrible and she would never forgive me for this.  I know not to take it personally, but it is still hard to hear.

Then she got wigged out and was begging for her mother and speaking in Yiddish. They gave her something and then she slept and slept and slept. She already stayed an extra day because she was not progressing, but when they tried to discharge her to a rehab facility today, her oxygen levels were low.  An x-ray revealed that she has mild congestive heart failure and fluid on her lungs, so she will be staying here over the weekend.

I did go back to her condo and get a little rest and some sleep last night, but we have another three days of this before she is admitted to the rehab center.

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My mom REALLY broke her leg and had to have surgery, so I drove to Atlanta a couple of days ago. She is not progressing well and is extremely disoriented. The staff does not quite understand our concern, they keep asking if she was like this before the fall. None of us have slept…we have spent most of our time trying to keep her from getting out of bed or pulling out her catheter. Luckily my two sisters are also here, so we can share the burden.

When they do release her from the hospital, it has already been pushed back to Friday because she is just not progressing, it will only be into a rehab center/nursing home. She will have to be there for several weeks. After that, she might be able to get in and out of bed and use a walker in her apartment, but we have no idea when she will be able to do stairs and her condo is on the second floor. I know that many of you have been through this before. It seems to be the fate of many older folks.

I have no idea when I will get back home. Things are just completely up in the air and little insane for me right now. Obviously I did bring my laptop and finally I am taking a little time to do some things online while I sit at the hospital. I am working on the next issue of CQMagOnline and would hate to be the reason that it did not publish on time.

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