Rooted in Mississippi

Another Tuesday and another Weight Watchers meeting.  I am down another two pounds, for a total of nine since joining on July 1.  I am thrilled that it is working and I look forward to getting another five pound star next week!  I have a long way to go, but I am confident I can do it, one week at a time.

After Weight Watchers, I met with Deirdra, the yoga instructor that I am working with to develop a class for plus-sized people.  Mostly we chatted and got to know one another.  I think that we will make a good team and have something meaningful to offer the yoga community.  Right now, the plan is to call the class “Buddha Body, Yoga Mind” and offer it on Sunday afternoons at Butterfly Yoga, starting in late August.

I have worked through some of my emotions and have come to terms with things. Thanks to all of you for your endearing and enduring support!  Y’all are the best, no doubt about it!

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I made a joke recently about always being the goose in the game duck, duck, goose…but there is something to it.  I am different and I know it.  How could I not be?  I mean I am an amalgam of two vastly differing cultures: Scots/Dutch who settled in the south many generations ago and immigrant Russian Jews.

Ironically, being different never really bothered me, in fact I was proud of it.  I was not in the popular crowd in high school, but I never wanted to be.  Besides, I had plenty of friends and boyfriends and I relished the idea that I was in charge of picking who they were.

I guess what I am saying is that I have come to a time in my life when I can get my feelings hurt by being excluded from things.  Who would have thought it?

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I was chatting online with another bellydancer with thyroid disease when this idea came to me.

Last year in yoga class we were discussing Shiva and the value of offering things into the flame. Tara was talking about Shiva Nataraja and the symbolism of him being surrounded by a ring of flames and the idea of the dual nature of destruction and creation. At the time, it was particularly resonant, because I had just cut off my long, beautiful hair and donated it to make wigs for cancer patients. In so doing, I felt like I was offering my hair into the flames. It certainly felt like an offering to the universe.

In order to rise from the ashes, you must first offer yourself to the fire. It makes great sense to me at this juncture in my life, but I suppose it should, after all it is almost a cliché.

I guess it is just another way of saying:

• It is darkest just before the dawn.
• You have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.
• Sometimes you have to hit the bottom before you start to climb out.

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I am happy to announce that the latest issue of CQMagOnline is live!  I am glad that Allison Aller is going to step up to the plate and offer her services as Assistant Editor, starting with the next issue.  It should help keep this volunteer job from overwhelming me completely four times a year!  Burnout would be awful, so this is very timely indeed.

In other news, I loved leading the Gentle Yoga class today.  I actually learned a lot in my preparation for the class.  I look forward to continuing to expand my own practice and sharing my very positive yoga experience with other people. I am just so excited about this opportunity and want to continue to open to grace.

Oh, and I am doing really well with Weight Watchers and have even lost a little more weight!

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I got en email from the owner of Butterfly Yoga and she asked me substitute teach the Gentle Yoga class for her tomorrow! I was very excited and readily accepted. I did not mention it here sooner, because I was not sure if it was really going to happen and did not want to jinx anything. I am very interested in becoming a yoga instructor down the line, in part because I would like to get a plus-sized yoga class going at her studio. I guess there are always people who like to share what they learn and I am one of them, no matter what the subject!

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My husband did eat the brownie, but then he brought home two more!  I managed to make it through the trial by brownie, without eating even one bite.  I did not throw them away or stick them in the freezer either.  Can I get a hallelujah from the choir?

I also survived going out to eat twice this weekend.  I got a chicken salad salad at Julep.  Chicken salad salad, good googly moogly, that sounds so funny to me!  I mean, I get it, they have to differentiate between a bed of baby greens with chicken salad on top and a regular salad topped with cooked chicken.  I just think sounds funny, kind of like chicken fried chicken!

Anyway, the other place we went was Ichiban.  I have Japanese food figured out and can eat enough sushi, seaweed salad and soup to make me full, without plowing through all of my points for the day and dipping into my weekly bonus points.  It is one of my favorite types of cuisine, but it can be so expensive.  While I love to go out to the sushi place, it is more economical to eat it at the Japanese/Chinese. Ichiban has a variety of sushi and soups, so it generally works out for me.  Plus, I can resist the temptation of all of those fried things when we go to the buffet, including the fortune cookie.

Speaking of fortune cookies, mine said “Opportunity is knocking, open the door tomorrow.”  My husband and I both laughed, because we were thinking concretely and have had nothing but trouble when uninvited people stop by the house. Then, just a few minutes ago, someone did knock, so I answered.  It was the shirtless guy who has been working on the house next door.  He already spooked me once by asking to be let into my house to use the phone, when he had a cell phone in his hand.  By the way, I told him no, because it would drive the dogs insane.

He came to my door to ask me what the time was.  How odd is that? Part of what creeps me out so much is that while I am on the computer, anyone over there can see right into the house where I am.  There is a drawback to having so many windows and glass doors that I had not really considered before! Also, why can’t he use the phone or see the clock next door, where is he working?

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My husband brought home sandwich boxes from Newk’s last night.  Since I had plenty of points left, I ate my chicken salad sandwich, even though it was on a croissant.  It was delicious and I do not regret giving myself a little treat. I ended up going a tiny bit over the days points after my husband and I shared a bag of 94% fat free popcorn.  Happily it all balanced out, because I had done yoga that morning! I did not eat the chips that came with the sandwich, even though they were Baked Lays, and I gave the brownie to my husband.  Unfortunately, he did not eat it.

The problem is that stupid brownie has been tempting me every time I see it. It got so bad, I decided to check out the points for a restaurant style brownie and I even went so far as to put it on the scale and weigh it. Well, it turns out that it is about half my alloted points for one day.  I am trying to ignore the stupid thing, but I want to unwrap it and take a big bite every time I walk past it.  Of course, today I am doing laundry, so I have been in the kitchen a lot.

I woke up late this morning, which put me off schedule.  I ate a Weight Watchers muffin for breakfast, knowing lunch was going to be just a few hours away.  Sometimes when things get out of whack, I eat my cereal for dinner.  I know it sounds kind of lame, but I actually like low sugar, high fiber cereal.  Actually, I like most of what I can eat on Weight Watchers, because it pushes me towards dairy, fresh fruit and vegetables.

There have been some changes though.  I am using my non-stick cookware a lot more, because I am cooking with almost no oil or butter.  That way, I can be sure about the points when I measure and add my fat prior to eating the cooked food.  I have also changed to a digital food scale, which I use regularly, and bought a lot more measuring cups, spoons and bowls! I have been logging all of my food online, but I also bought a points calculator at the last meeting.  I figure it will come in handy when I travel or am away from the computer, like at the grocery store.

Even if I did not lose any weight last week, I know I am working the program and making better choices.  That said, if I were not on a diet, I doubt I would be thinking about that brownie so much!  Oh, well.  Life is a journey.

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Oscar and Louie had another birthday.

Rudy and Princess had excellent annual visits and are both healthy and heartworm free, although Rudy needs another dental cleaning.  I know it is strange, but I have been worried about the heartworms, since Louie tested positive after being on preventative his whole life.  The vet has also been treating several dogs who got sick while on treatment.  I am just glad they were both healthy and heartworm free.  Princess still will not walk on a leash, but she did not try to bite me either!  I did discover that if I take her off the lead, she will walk beside me and jump into the car on her own.  Maybe that will be a workable solution in some situations.

In much sadder news, Choochie/Methuselah/Midnight/Zombie Cat is gone.  I had not seen him in a couple of days, then he wandered into the back yard (probably looking for me) and got jumped by the dogs.  It was hard to separate them, but I might not have noticed the problem with his mouth if I had not done a full body check after the dog incident.  He looked a little rough, but one tooth looked crazy, so I opened his mouth and could tell immediately that something was REALLY wrong.   I rushed him to my vet, who very kindly stayed late for me.  He told me that his jaw was broken, it might have been trauma, but more likely it was a bone tumor.  The cat was really too old and too frail to rehab, but he offered to try if I really wanted him to.  He suggested that putting him down was really the most humane thing to do, given his advanced age.  He was so dehydrated that it was hard to find a vein, but at least I was able to be with him while it happened. He was very old and had lived long beyond his expected lifespan. I also made the decision to stop feeding the neighbor’s cats when the cat food we have on hand is all gone.

Anyway, I did not mean to bum any of you out, but I thought it was blog-worthy.

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I spent the weekend watching the Project Runway marathon. I did manage to go to the Mississippi NeedleArts meeting and get a little stitching done, but I spent many hours watching or listening to past seasons of the show.  There have been so many wonderful designers on the show, yet I have to admit the folks with lots of personality and creativity are the ones I love to watch.

If I had the chance to spend a week in the studio with any of the contestants over the last three seasons, Chris March would be my first choice.  His designs were great, but his crazy costumes from the portfolio speak to my inner drag queen.  Project Runway is a lot of fun and I love the challenges and insane schedules, but my favorite part is the mens…even the histrionic, hysterical and b*tchy ones! Well, now that I give it a little more thought, apparently I enjoy viewing a little delicious diva behavior regardless of gender.

Tomorrow I have to force myself to spend at least a few hours in the studio working on a project. I tried to work on it while I was watching TiVo, but it was not meant to be. I hate being behind schedule on anything, but most especially something for which I have made a commitment.

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Lisa came over this afternoon and after a weight watchers approved meal, we went out into the yard to check on the Delta Fig trees. After picking a gallon bag full, we went up to my studio and stitched for a few hours. Actually Lisa stitched; all I did was cut fabric, overcast the edges, transfer the pattern to tissue paper, and start the basting process. Wow, when I write it all down, it sounds like a lot of work! I have a feeling the embroidery will take less time than the basting.

The power went off for a little while when the storms passed through the area. Luckily it did not stay off for very long. I was worried, because I finally filled the deep freezer again after the last time we lost everything when the tornadoes swept through Jackson on April 4, 2008. I am still cleaning melted ice cream off the shelves! As Lisa can now attest, the power goes out easily. It has not been stable since Katrina.

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