Rooted in Mississippi

Once again, we are approaching EGA National Seminar and there is a hurricane aimed at the Gulf Coast.  Three years ago, all of our lives changed when Katrina hit.  Lisa, Cynthia and I were scrambling for gas. Ben and I were cleaning up debris.  It seemed so surreal when we made the decision to go to Atlanta and leave our loved ones behind to deal with things.  Yes, we had already paid for the event and we were planning to stay with my mom, but it was still a tough choice  When we finally got gas, after getting into line at Sam’s at 4 AM, we felt like it was the right one.

It feels sort of ominous with Gustav passing over Cuba and Haiti and then heading into the Gulf Coast.  I can only imagine what the people in New Orleans are thinking and feeling with most of the projected paths coming straight through their city with its barely patched levees.  I was relieved to hear that the mountains in Haiti helped break up the system and take away some of its power.  Maybe I am falling prey to alarmist newscasters who want you to remain glued to the television.  It is hard to know, but by time the remnants of Gustav make it to Jackson, I will probably be in Louisville.

At least we are better prepared now than we ever were before Katrina and I am no longer “key personnel” at a hospital. I am more worried for other people, especially on the coast and in NOLA.  If our electricity has not been right since Katrina, what does that mean for them?  How much of our infrastructure is sub-par?  How much of an insult can it take before it all falls apart again?  Deep thoughts, I know, but the idea of another hurricane coming so close to the anniversary of Katrina weighs heavily on my mind.

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First, I went to the big denim sale at Old Navy and discovered that I am now a size 14, on my way to a 12.  It was a wonderful feeling. So, clearly, I knew I had lost weight.  I confirmed this on my home scale, but that is sort of unofficial. Anyway, I did not want to post about it until after the actual weigh-in at my Weight Watchers meeting.

I have officially lost 19 pounds since July 1!

For a normal person, that may not be a very big deal, but for me and my defective thyroid, it is huge!  Anyway, I just wanted to share.

I am worried about seminar, because I will be more sedentary than usual and eating out for all of my meals.  We will be in a hotel downtown, without a refrigerator or microwave.  I am going to try to be prepared and look for ways to get in some exercise, but it has me worried.

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Each year, I am required to do demonstrations for the Craftsman’s Guild and since I have five categories from which to choose, I decided I would demonstrate embroidery.  I am behind in my obligation, so I will be at the Mississippi Craft Center in Ridgeland on Sunday from 10 AM to 4 PM. I will be working on a crewel piece and will have some samples of my work available for closer inspection. Feel free to come by and see me!

I am beginning to get ready for the EGA Golden Gala seminar and am trying to figure out what I should pack. Three women traveling in my car means we have to pack light.  I started selecting nice clothes, then had a revelation, it will be all yoga togs for me during classes.  They are easy to pack, comfortable, and do not take up a ton of suitcase space.  EGA has promoted a dressing through the decades idea for the whole seminar, but I am just going to try for something vintage looking at the opening banquet and then admire the cool stuff other women wear.

Actually, I am threatening to wear a bellydance costume to the closing banquet.  Well, it has a “touch of gold!”  Wearing something like that in front of the EGA crowd would be memorable. Of course, just thinking about it makes my bottom pucker a little.  That probably means I should just relax and go for it!

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I just loved the classes that Zafira Dance Company taught at Southern Fusion Fest.  The two of them were so funny and so cute. The combos were sassy and fun too, but with my luck, I will not be able to remember a single thing they taught me.  I suppose I should have taken better notes.  One of them had an interesting philosophy…be warned, it is crude…”if you relax your a$$hole, your mind will follow.” I mean, how can you argue with that?  ROFL

This black choli was one that I bought at SFF, it was a stone cold bargain at $15!  I also got the matching velvet hip scarf for the same price. Had I been smart, I would have worn one for the photo. I was happy to find such a good deal.  I will try to post a few photos of the skirts and vests I also bought.

I wanted to take photos to continue to track my weight loss progress, because the scale is not the only indicator of success. I know the photos are kind of unflattering, but I am proving something to myself by posting them here.  I guess you can say it is my way of trying to release the pucker.

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I almost called this post “the power of exercise,” because this past weekend was Southern Fusion Fest, a bellydance event I booked and paid for before my life sort of exploded.  Anyway, it was three jam packed days of bellydance instruction from some of the top names in bellydance.  I logged over seven hours of actual dance time even on the one day I pooped out during the last class of the day!

Moria Chappell’s floorwork class was probably the hardest, because of all of the knee stuff, but I survived with nothing worse than a couple of new bruises. Gypsy Caravan’s tribal stylings class was probably the most fun, because I adore skirt work and the African and Latin rhythms were so much fun.  The class I thought I would never survive was Moria’s Conditioning class, because it was the very last one of the event and Moria is tough!!!  I surprised myself by making it all the way through class.  Good thing I have done a lot of Suhaila style glute squeeze conditioning and shimmy drills over the last two years.  It was fascinating to learn all the very specific muscle contractions for so many moves.

The hardest day was the one where I did not eat enough.  I was so far beyond exhausted by the day’s end.  All told, I ate about twice the points, I have been eating lately, but I was burning ten times more calories, so I hope it all works out.  According to my Weight Watchers eTools calculations, I stayed on the plan.  I am guessing no weight loss will show on the scale tonight, because of the build of lactic acid in my muscles, but I hope that will translate into something meaningful next Tuesday.

Anyway, I feel much better than I did last week, although things are still kind of crazy. I am so much more emotional than I ever have been in the past and I think that is due to the yoga and me working so hard to open my heart.  Peeling away the layers of fat and armor I have used to protect myself for so long is tough work and it leaves me open to both joy and pain.  The upshot of recent events is that I will not be helping with the Buddha Body, Yoga Mind class.  Oh, well, things have a way of working out and this too shall pass.

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And, ironically it has nothing to do with the dentist this morning!  I really do not want to write about it or even talk about it, but today felt like a series of sucker punches.  It will all work out, but do not be surprised if I do not post anything for a few days.

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I went to the dentist this morning. It was not as bad as I thought it would be, but I have to go back on Wednesday to get a broken filling replaced. I was shocked by how stressed out my body was even though one of the reasons I made the appointment was that I have been grinding my teeth mercilessly at night.  My mind was calm and although I kept trying to relax my body, I kept noticing all kinds of odd muscular energy. My fingers were lifting and spreading…my neck and shoulders were getting all tense..it was just crazy.   I am not sure why I was so stressed out, but clearly I was. I just realized it is called unconscious muscular gripping!  I might have to have some pharmacological intervention on Wednesday.

When I got to yoga, I was still so keyed up that I just could not settle down even in Savasana, plus my thigh was hurting me.  If you are a regular reader you know that I slipped on the cruise ship in Russia and landed hard on the stair edge.  Then I got knocked off my feet in Memphis and fell on it again in June, so I guess I should not be surprised that it still hurts.  Today I was massaging it a lot and Chris, who is an observant yoga teacher, thought it might be a hamstring injury. So I plan to do some locust poses and take it easy for a little while, but just a little while, because I have to dance this weekend!

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I spent some time last night writing my bio for Butterfly Yoga. I got up early this morning to polished it a little.  I think I have managed to say what motivated me to share what I have learned.  Every day I learn more, so there is a endless well of things beyond the asana that I want to help people discover about themselves.  One of the things I like so much about Anusara Yoga is that they acknowledge that there is a balance of light and dark in every heart.

I am working on so many things that I sometimes forget the basics.  This morning, I opened an email from SparkPeople with the following quote of the day:

Without forgiveness life is governed by…an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.
- Roberto Assagioli

The timing could not have been better!  It is time for me to acknowledge that some things have hurt my feelings or made me question myself, but now it is time to let them go and forgive people of their transgressions.  Otherwise, I will carry the weight of resentment and loss with my in perpetuity.  It is better for me to forgive and forget than to carry around any of that emotional baggage.

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As I have mentioned here before I talked Scotta into having a class for larger people at Butterfly Yoga. I will be helping Deirdra teach the “Buddha Body, Yoga Mind” class starting August 24, 2008. If there is enough interest it will be a regular class, Sundays from 4:00 to 5:15 PM. Scotta liked the timing, because it fell right before the Beginning Bellydance Class and there might be some cross-pollination. While the class will cover modifications and props, that is almost secondary for me. The good stuff is finding a sacred space on the mat, where you can develop your sense of grace, strength and beauty in yoga, regardless of your size.

It is starting to feel real, because I will be attending my first teacher meeting and I have to come up with my bio and class description.  Of course, I have Deirdra to work with for the class description, but it means that I am starting to think like a teacher and not just a student.  How cool is that?

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Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand. 

- Emily Kimbrough

What a pithy and timely quote! After chatting on IM yesterday, I was worried that my friend Lisa might skip our Weight Watchers meeting tonight.  She had a bit of a stumble this past weekend. I tried to reassure her that it was not a big deal and the trick was get back on the horse that threw her, but I was worried.

Trust me, I know better than anyone how demoralizing it can be to give into weakness.  Hey, I ate potato chips this morning for breakfast.  I could not stand seeing them on the counter another minute.  I know I should have just thrown them away, but chips and fries are my Achilles’ heel.  You see, I can pass the brownie test, but apparently not the chip test!  I recorded the points for the chips and am trying not to beat myself up over such a stupid choice. The real tragedy is that I got no nutritional value out of those 5 points.

Anyway, tonight was our regular Weight Watchers meeting.  I managed to lose another pound and a half, so I earned that second five pound star.  The team leader recorded it as 11.5 pounds total, but her math was a little off and the actual loss since July 1 is 10.5 pounds. Then the best thing of all happened, Lisa walked in the door!

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